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Chronicles, Inspirations and Musings

Solopreneur, Part 1

As of today, June 16, 2014, I am a solopreneur.

What that means is that I didn’t sleep well last night. I spent all day Friday preparing my home office to be a place to actually work instead of storing things. All weekend, I’ve walked past the space, excited to get started. Then last night, the overwhelming unpredictability of it all sat upon me like an unbearable weight. My joy turned to irritation at my kids, my man, myself.

Then, in my dreams, my children were sitting with me. And Malala Yousafzai. And Ariana Huffington. I was listening with pride as my daughters interviewed these empowering and inspiring female role models. They were learning, eagerly, and preparing for their own journey as strong, independent women.

Funny that I would dream that. Then again, not really. It is my strongest ambition to not only succeed for myself and my family but to empower and inspire my daughters to be ANYTHING THEY COULD EVER DREAM OF. I’ve wanted that for myself for a while now. I’ve just had to slowly, deliberately, expand my mind-space to allow it to come to fruition.

If I can offer that to them at this age, I am offering them endless possibilities.


A mind stretched

Teach the wonders of books, but also ponder the mystery of nature…

I heard about this letter in the book I’m reading, “I Am Malala“.

Which, by the way, I could write an entire blog post about. Maybe I will, when time permits.

In the meanwhile, I am copying this here so that I have a copy saved. So many great truths.

Abraham Lincoln’s Letter to his Son’s Teacher:

“My son starts school today. It is all going to be strange and new to him for a while and I wish you would treat him gently. It is an adventure that might take him across continents. All adventures that probably include wars, tragedy and sorrow. To live this life will require faith, love and courage.

So dear Teacher, will you please take him by his hand and teach him things he will have to know, teaching him – but gently, if you can. Teach him that for every enemy, there is a friend. He will have to know that all men are not just, that all men are not true. But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero, that for every crooked politician, there is a dedicated leader.

Teach him if you can that 10 cents earned is of far more value than a dollar found. In school, teacher, it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat. Teach him to learn how to gracefully lose, and enjoy winning when he does win.

Teach him to be gentle with people, tough with tough people. Steer him away from envy if you can and teach him the secret of quiet laughter. Teach him if you can – how to laugh when he is sad, teach him there is no shame in tears. Teach him there can be glory in failure and despair in success. Teach him to scoff at cynics.

Teach him if you can the wonders of books, but also give time to ponder the extreme mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on a green hill. Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if every one tell him they are wrong.

Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone else is doing it. Teach him to listen to every one, but teach him also to filters all that he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.

Teach him to sell his talents and brains to the highest bidder but never to put a price tag on his heart and soul. Let him have the courage to be impatient, let him have the patient to be brave. Teach him to have sublime faith in himself, because then he will always have sublime faith in mankind, in God.

This is the order, teacher but see what best you can do. He is such a nice little boy and he is my son.


Abraham Lincoln

Saying Goodbye

I’m doing my best to put 2013 in perspective.

I enjoyed my girls, getting older, developing their personalities, trying new things, watching them mature, exploring, traveling together. Sometimes I wish I could stop time in its tracks.

I’ve enjoyed the patient love of my man, while I’ve struggled with being overwhelmed in not one but two new jobs. Long distance relationships come with their own set of blessings and curses. If he could be with me every evening while I collapse into quiet amongst my fluffy pillows, maybe he’d feel like I was actually there for him instead of trying to convey that over the limits of technology.

I lost the last remaining father figure in my life in February when my dad’s dad, my Papa, finally drew his last breath. That loss affected both myself and my daughters who’d grown so close to him. I’ve had other personal struggles and challenges over the year.

And today, on this last day of 2013, my closest, lifelong friend reached out after months of her own struggles and silence to tell me that her battle with breast cancer is coming to an end. It has metastasized. She has only months to live.

Earlier this year, when I found a lump in my breast, the only thing I could think of was how I could ever say goodbye to my children. How could I leave them motherless? I drew in a heavy breath to find out that it was only a cyst. I hugged them tighter and have since that day.

But now my friend has to prepare herself for this. She has to say goodbye to her daughter and son. She is only just now reaching out to say goodbye to me. She is angry at the world. Angry at her body. Angry at the injustice. And angry at her own isolation when she feels so lonely but doesn’t know what to say anymore. No amount of positive thinking is helping.

I’m angry too. And speechless. And stunned. And hurting. I just want to hold her and feel those things with her.

So, I’m ready to say goodbye to 2013 and can only hope that 2014 looks a little brighter.